Nice going, "Mom."

I briefly visited one of my in-laws (Johnny, uncle to my wife) on the 4th. It was sort of a family reunion. One of the many children running wild in the yard (I know not his name nor his mother's; my wife's father was one of 15 children and it is much too difficult for me to remember their names and those of the 2-3 generations of offspring) was climbing on a rather young Bradford pear tree.

Bradfords are a very soft wood and tend to split easily. The child's mother yelled at him to "get out of that tree right now!" When the child asked why, the mother said, "Because Johnny's gonna whip you!" The child quickly climbed down.

Her ignorant comment immediately reminded me of this post by zen. I imagine the reason she didn't say, "because I said so," is that she had let this child get away with ignoring her so many times in the past, she knew her word carried no authority with the him. If she had said, "because you might break it," i imagine his response would have been a look of confusion because she had failed to teach the child any sense of respect for other people's property. Instead, she threatened the boy with violence, albeit deceitfully and vicariously.

Johnny is a very nice guy and certainly would not whip someone's child, whether a relative or not. This mother, in her stupidity, has now instilled distrust and fear in this child - a fear that Johnny, given minor cause, will physically harm him. I wonder how many times in this child's life she will teach him lessons like this - and what type of person he will grow up to be.